Books-a-Million's Coelacanth

Do you remember 5 years ago when online purchases were a risky thing because you couldn't return items to a brick and mortar location even if you were shopping with a national chain? Every company out there realized that this was a huge mistake, but while recently fishing off the coast of South Africa, I discovered that this practice is no longer extinct. Books-a-million is a separate company from BAMM.com (roman numerall MM is 2,000 - but for some reason MM also means million - perhaps they meant (M)x(M) - no sir, I don't like it). But back to the rant on hand. You can't use a Books-a-million gift card at the bamm.com site. They use gift certificates, I was kindly told. My response was "No wonder Amazon.com is kicking your ass."
By the way, if you want to say million in roman numerals, you put a line over the top of the M to indicate to multiply by 1,000. Apparently the Roman empire would have failed due to a y5k compatibility problem if the lead pipes and political corruption hadn't taken their toll first.