CNN stoops to a new low

Now you can order a t-shirt of your favorite cnn.com headline! Want to remember the polygamy raid forever? What better way than a T-shirt! All you do is look for the t-shirt icon next to any headline. Too bad the site wasn't programmed very securely. You can modify the headlines anyway you want by changing the words in the headline. Maybe this is the programmers way of "endorsing" this site feature? I'm not sure if you can order the shirts with the modified headlines. Let me know if anyone tries it.
link

Butt Red

While eating pistachios on the back porch:

Adam: When did they stop making red pistachios?

Ben: Not sure. You used to not be able to buy them anyway but red.

Violet: BUTT RED? Why you said butt red?

First Pentax K10d shots

So I've managed to get my hands on a real camera for myself. It's a Pentax K10d. So far I've used it in automode without cracking open the user manual yet - I'm pretty happy with it so far. I can't wait to start playing with some of the different options on it. Here's a tulip poplar that's in my backyard.

Google made a funny

While checking out Google documents, I actually read the Safari incompatibility message - pretty funny. I'm applying to be their intergalactic legal counsel as soon as I can fake a diploma. Maybe after I finish watching Futurama.

Books-a-Million's Coelacanth

Do you remember 5 years ago when online purchases were a risky thing because you couldn't return items to a brick and mortar location even if you were shopping with a national chain? Every company out there realized that this was a huge mistake, but while recently fishing off the coast of South Africa, I discovered that this practice is no longer extinct. Books-a-million is a separate company from BAMM.com (roman numerall MM is 2,000 - but for some reason MM also means million - perhaps they meant (M)x(M) - no sir, I don't like it). But back to the rant on hand. You can't use a Books-a-million gift card at the bamm.com site. They use gift certificates, I was kindly told. My response was "No wonder Amazon.com is kicking your ass."
By the way, if you want to say million in roman numerals, you put a line over the top of the M to indicate to multiply by 1,000. Apparently the Roman empire would have failed due to a y5k compatibility problem if the lead pipes and political corruption hadn't taken their toll first.

Cousin Jackson

While Grandpa John was using the toilet, Jackson walked on in.
"Jackson, I'm using the bathroom."
"That's ok Grandpa"
Then he flipped the switch to the fan.

Doughnuts with Daddy

Here's Izzy's card she made for me and the questionnaire she gave answers to for "Dougnhuts with Dad" at her school. Her teachers thought she would get closest to the right answers. For the record, I work with monkeys. I'm only 31. I eat everything, so even a coworker could have gotten this one correct, and the last two are subjective, so I can't prove or disprove them. Some other answers I overheard: My dad is "very, very old" years old; and "20 50" years old. I love my dad because "he has cool pants and cool shoes". Even with the subjective disclaimer, I have to disagree with the child.

Udder Observation

Hard to explain this one, so I'll skip the explanation. While eating at Grandpa Ben's house, Kate joined us and brought in a rubber glove filled with water. It was passed around the table until it ended up with Violet. After playing with it for a few seconds, she began to moo - without any prompting. Pretty observant...

Funny Thing

When Izzy was showing me the new scale that her Grandma Vicki had brought her, she proudly explained to me that you stand on it and it tells you how much your feet weigh. Love it...

FEMA Costume

I went to a neighborhood halloween party last night. All of the kids were in costume, but only a few of the adults were, which may have added to my confusion when I noticed a man wearing a polo with FEMA embroidered on it with some sort of seal embroidered also. He wasn't very talkative, so I didn't overhear any discussion of his "costume" decision, so I avoided asking him about it until he was getting ready to leave. He had a small cart filled with chairs and an ice chest, so I made my move:
"Working on your evacuation?"
"Uh, no. I just live on the other side of the lake."

What the hell does that mean? Was he playing the character completely? Was he an actual FEMA employee?

FOX and MLB should be ashamed.

MLB and Fox have used October to show how stupid they both are. #1, the preview for the first game of the series had the production quality of Woody Asaf's Santa Radar. Whatever happened to quotes from Giamatti while historic images and higlights of the year played? Maybe they had some incredibly impressive intro of the Yankees and Cardinals ready to go - stupid idiots. #2, why would anyone think that a cartoon of baseball would be of any interest to anyone who can stay up late enough to watch these games (I slipped #3 in there also). I'd love to wake my children to watch the animated ball explain that a change-up is a slowly thrown pitch (eloquent!), but I am afraid of the multiple dead bodies and previews for gore and murder that the commercials will expose them to.

Idiots.

Also, is it ironic that Liz Phair (self proclaimed blowjob queen) would sing God Bless America the first night, and then a guy playing trumpet would play the next night? Who's next, Monical Lewinsky? I guess the sucking and blowing theme is part of the FOX/MLB synergy (I'll rant about the term "synergy" later.)